One of my regrets at the end of my first year at Briggs Chaney was that I did not have a chance to teach students how to take the formulaic Five-Paragraph Essay to the next level and begin to develop a more sophisticated style of writing. This year, developing a way to expose and advance students to the next level of writing became one of my top missions.
After a lesson on four methods of characterization--physical description, dialogue, actions, and thoughts--students were asked to consider how those methods were used by Lois Lowry in the novel The Giver, which student had recently finished reading. They determined that Asher is characterized only through language and actions, as the point of view does not allow the reader access to his thoughts and there is almost no use of physical description in the novel.
I then introduced them to the prompt they would be writing their essay on: Analyze a character for their significance to the novel as a whole. Students worked together to turn the prompt into a question they could answer: Why is Asher important to the novel? We then walked through our normal thesis development progress as a class, writing the formula for a thesis statement and our formulas for topic sentences on the handout to the right as we went. |
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Before having students look at my own example, I had them work together to generate a thesis as a class. One class created the following thesis: Asher is important because he provides comedic reliefs, highlights important information about the community, and shows that no one else has feelings.
We discussed how these were three separate reasons and that while each one supported the stance that Asher is important, they can be put in any order in the essay and still make sense. After reviewing the Five-Paragraph Essay, I had students skim through my version of a Five-Paragraph Essay on why Asher is important and record my thesis and topic sentences in the example blanks on the handout. Again, I highlighted how each individual paragraph is just one different example of how the thesis is true; therefore, the paragraphs can be put in any order. Finally, I asked students to carefully read the second essay in the packet, which I have labeled "The Premise-Based Argument." Students worked on filling in the thesis statement and topic sentences in the example blanks on the reverse of the handout (below) as they read. |
After students read the "new and improved" essay, I asked them to tell me what differences they noticed.
The most obvious difference to the students was that the thesis statement did not list out what each paragraph would discuss. They also noticed that the arrows on this handout connected the paragraphs together rather than simply connecting each paragraph back to the thesis. This is what makes the Premise-Based Argument. The thesis is more complex because it cannot be proven true with one paragraph. It takes multiple paragraphs that build upon each other, rather than three separate examples, to prove the thesis is true. Finally, I filled in the descriptions of the thesis and topic sentences for this style of writing so students could complete their notes. |
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The next day, I gave students the essay assignment. Students were given the choice between the traditional Five-Paragraph Essay and the new Premise-Based Argument, although they were warned that a Five-Paragraph Essay would no longer be able to score an A. As students had already proven themselves capable of writing such an essay, the expectations are now higher.
Students then got to work on developing their thesis statements and outlines using the graphic organizers inside the packets. I recommended that students choose one of the prompts and then think about what scenes they would write about. Then they needed to think about what linked those scenes together so that they could build a complex thesis. I provided the following sentence frame to help guide students: Lois Lowry uses [character] to [description of purpose] by method] . I then circulated the room to conference individually with students about their ideas. I spoke with one student who was considering writing about how Jonas's father proves the community is a dystopia and who already knew what scenes she wanted to write about. When asked what the common thread was, she said, "He can't show love in any of the scenes." I then helped her put those three ideas together to form the following thesis: Lois Lowry uses Jonas's father to show the community is a dystopia by being unable to love. |
Student samples
Click on any sample to view it larger. To see how these students reached this level, view their work at the paragraph and five-paragraph essay levels by clicking the buttons to the right and scrolling down.
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